in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
