All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
