Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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