I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
