Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
