4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You have to summon your inner elephant
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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