I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
