you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
