i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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