My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize