wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
