Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
