Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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