So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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