How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
