my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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