So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
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Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
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I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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