STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
