aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
