i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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