that's an acceptable place to lick
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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