ADVERTISEMENT

• (303): View more from Colorado

  i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed

  Fav 43 2380 14588

  share tweet
  

• (651): View more from Minnesota

  i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.

  Fav 15 7883 1345

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (480): View more from Arizona

  Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.

  Fav 6 2836 1099

  share tweet
  

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.

  Fav 3 1278 2093

  share tweet
  
• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (563): View more from Iowa

  dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again

  Fav 1 1084 695

  share tweet
  

• (254): View more from Texas

  I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend

  Fav 1 838 1146

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (952): View more from Minnesota

  High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.

  Fav 5 2002 753

  share tweet
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.

  Fav 1 1098 557

  share tweet
  

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny

  Fav 4 1025 512

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (336): View more from North Carolina

  My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.

  Fav 3 1130 532

  share tweet
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...

  Fav 1 1060 380

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (914): View more from New York

  Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.

  Fav 1 235 157

  share tweet
  

• (845): View more from New York

  I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit

  Fav 2 203 117

  share tweet
  

• (773): View more from Illinois

  just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Hahaha nice

  Fav 2 47 6

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (805): View more from California

  Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?

  Fav 0 17 28

  share tweet
  

Randomize