i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
