I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize