Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
