Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize