Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
