I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
