Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
