literally had 100 drinks last night.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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