I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
