Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
