Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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