i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
