umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Panties = found
Randomize
