I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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