Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
No subtext here. People are naked.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
