yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
