It was confusing and full of hummus
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
