therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
