brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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