Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
