she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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