She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
