There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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