so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
