idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
