I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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