Your tits are I can't wait for
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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