The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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