I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You were trust falling into bushes
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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