Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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