But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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