Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
