I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
