I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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