so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
