You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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