Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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