Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
