You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
