By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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