So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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