I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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