clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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