Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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