were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
