I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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