Yo dont text me then not text me
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
