You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
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You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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